My Dearest Thandi,
I hope that if you read these, you aren’t disturbed by the musings regarding sexuality. I need you to know that for me, the love part comes before the lovemaking. I never felt attracted or aroused by anyone before you and it continues to be you that I imagine. I imagine it may be something to which you’ve given thought as well, seeing as we had discussed children as a major facet of marriage.
Five. I want to fuck five babies into you and raise a happy family.
I’m sorry, that sounded rather rough. What I mean is, I want to mutually enjoy the process of child-making. I want to show you how much I love you by giving you every part of me. I want to use my body as an expression of affection and thanks and love. I want to make you feel good. I want to make you happy.
You might be wondering, “Oh? What prompted my darling honey to write on this topic? I was rather enjoying reading his daily log of meals and peanuts shelled for our feathered son!”
(Granted, I am making assumptions. It has been a while and perhaps you would have enjoyed my note taking if it were more precise. I think my memory has been slightly improved by having Rev here to remember anything I come up short on. Although sometimes he will also scorn someone and refuse to tell me their name. Do you recall Corncob? That was a trip.)
Anyhow, I broach this topic after I healed someone of a venereal disease. Caught from a prostitute who came to see me later, crying because of the interruption to his work. That was awkward, as a doctor. Well, the person who first came in was complaining about how this would get him caught with ‘the ol ball and chain’.
And then he told me I should think about giving it a whirl, to which I replied, I’m happily married, fuck off, and he stormed off and left too kuch money, so I gave it to the crying prostitute and encouraged him to rest for a while so he could heal the stress in his life. And also because I would really rather him not catch it again.
It’s truly disturbing to me to see a whole chain of people in like that. The wife came in later and I advised her to get a divorce and run. Admittedly, I gave her money to buy her fare to her sister’s place. I’ve become something of a bleeding heart, Cilantro says.
The point of all of this is to say I cannot fathom how one would share intimacy with anyone less than their trusted partners. Obviously, I know that variants exist, and I use that knowledge to advise faaar too many people with that knowledge. I mean, who am I to condemn it?
(I imagine I take after mother and Josiah. They’ve been together a long time and once I get back to Roseview, I’m going to kill Byron myself.)
My entire being is dedicated to you and you alone. People aside from you fill me with the usual revulsion. To be touched by anyone else would cause me to remove my skin entirely and walk off looking like page 65 of Practical Anatomy. Why in all of Alleria would I want to profane the sanctity of our relationship? I’m made for one person in the universe.
Honestly, that’s what I end up thinking fairly often. The only person in all the worlds that I could love with my whole self. I think it may be why Cilantro took pity on me when I first appeared in his realm after you… exploded. He told me after a few days that you were alive. Of course, he insists you’re doing something important, of such importance that I cannot come near.
I am 80% certain he is lying about that last sentence. He always sprinkles in foreboding things and then drops me in Faerûn. You know, like an asshole. I’m still thinking fondly on godhood so I may kick his ass so hard he speaks in flatulence.
In any case? I cannot stray. I can only be aroused by you. I wonder a bit at my mental health in this regard but I don’t find it particularly noteworthy or dangerous to love your wife and family.
I miss you, dearest. I hope you come home soon.
Much Love,
Your Charlie
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