depression, tbo canon
Everybody has been touching him. Sure, he had to touch people for his larger healing spell to work, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be touched. It made him sick to think about.
First, ■■■■■.
Then Marco or Marglo or whatever.
Then this rude sube lady.
Even later, Tirel touched him.
His skin is crawling, like it’s just going to climb off of him and… ugh. So he’s a bit irritable today! And then he committed the crime of telling Thandi to shut up.
Gods, between the guilt and discomfort, he might get sick and just throw up. Just vomit, right there, and then everyone will again remember what an awful creature he is and Thandi will wonder why she even keeps him around and that fucking dog, he can’t even get through to a little yappy creature.
They prefer that thing that eats people! To him! And then he pushes away the one person who gives even a tiny fuck about him by telling her to shut up. So of course, he just. They’re walking in a circle, following something, and of course if they’re following something around, why not catch it in the middle?
Plus he’d get a minute to catch his breath and not—
Tirel and that orc are talking about him right there. Yeah, he knows. He’s an asshole. A horrible man. Disgusting. Wretched, foul, the only reason he’s here is because he can heal them! But fuck, you know what?
A potion can do his job! What does Thandi need with a possessive idiot coward who snips at her for? Sure, she says she cares, but she’s made it explicitly clear that she only sort of likes him. She can’t possibly ever love him, not like he lov— not like he likes her!
So he’s gotta. He’s gotta start to pull away again. Unless she asks for him, he won’t interfere. Besides, they had a spat already and even if this time she ended up cooking for him (and everyone else) it didn’t mean a damn thing. He fundamentally disagrees with her idea of killing things! Yes! Why is he so fucking fond of a murderer?
But also, seriously, that people-eating orc was already being accepted and he’s just some guy who they save because he carries the fucking bandages. Ethically! It is bad to kill someone while they’re bound but he eats people but can he be reformed but he! Eats! People!!!
Gods, Charlie is so fed up. Next chance he gets he is going to slip away and get on a boat to Cross. He doesn’t belong here. He shouldn’t even be bothering Thandi.
Sure! She is the most beautiful creature he’s ever met, and the only person aside from his mother and Josiah who even thought he was worth giving a damn about, but he’ll wear her down and she’ll get sick of him.
She doesn’t care as much as he does.
No one cares.
Hah.
No one cares!
No one gave a flying fuck when Nora blinked out of existence. Thandi has potions aplenty. ■■■■■ could probably learn to heal if they stopped morphing into a murder fountain every other fight. Tirel hates him anyway. ■■■■ has a shield and plate armor. ■■■■■ would prefer him dead anyway! When he disappears, they’ll shrug and say, well! Fuck that guy.
Not as if there is any reason for anyone to care about him. He never gave anyone a reason. He tried being nice for a spell, but garbage stays garbage even when it’s in a prettier bag.
When the group circles back around and meets with Thandi’s again, he wants to cry. He has to apologize later. The look she gave him earlier practically rips his heart out and steps on it, and she doesn’t even give him any acknowledgment…
Yeah.
He’s going home.
At least there, he knows how to avoid a fucking table to the face, and he knows his enemy deserves to die.