tbo charlie journal
This Thandi woman kidnapped me.
T insists on exercises. Dislike. Rather, hate.
T and I fight. Seems insistent on participation. Stronger than expected. Fell. Amusing. Helped up. Enjoyed annoying when she expected further participation.
T might actually be stupid.
T withholding information.
X dropped me in front of Thandi. She cried. Intended to make her and X angry. Ended up stuck with worst forms of both.
T continues to be kind. Dislike.
T strong marriage candidate as sole human. Also enjoys to read. High focus. Also immoral woman.
T found me after fight. She touched. Pleasant? Reconsidered joking proposal. Like touch, presuming that would like more. Proposed sincerely. T accepted. Hope to get to know better.
T seems to believe I am not sincere in proposal.
How to convince?
Bracelet given. Unexpected side effect: can feel physical sensation, minor hearing. Can differentiate between different touches.
She kissed it.
Requested that if I “fall in love” with another, I inform.
Problem: not capable of love?
Uncertain on definition—what defines parameters of love? Obligation? Prior reading points to actual feelings. Not certain precise feelings. Pain? Anxiety? Further reading needed.
T wants to personally raise and tutor children. Possible between studies? Anxious over desire for me to participate in child rearing. Don’t believe I am needed.
Perhaps look into child rearing sans governesses/tutors?
T likes camellias.
T breaks off engagement.
V informed me of T background. Concerned. Regarding dimension problem: consult X.
X refuses assistance in crossing to Faerun until I am in love.
T admits to liking me. I am fond of her. Reconsidering rejection of proposal? Hopeful. Purchased armor. Not good enough armor. Temporary fix. Need to request armor that works better for her.
Note to self: separation anxiety, parameter? Notice preoccupation with wellbeing.
Separation anxiety manifests in passive anxiety, no attack yet. Every time she is elsewhere, trouble sure to follow.
Need to focus less on T, more on self. Less on self?
Uncertain of worthiness regarding T. Unable to protect. Dropped like sack of bricks.
T gave pin. Reassured me. Feels like she is humoring me. Still nice to hear.
Miss T. Physical contact if requested?1
- Legible version:
This Thandi woman kidnapped me.
T insists on exercises. Dislike. Rather, hate.
T and I fight. Seems insistent on participation. Stronger than expected. Fell. Amusing. Helped up. Enjoyed annoying when she expected further participation.
T might actually be stupid.
T withholding information.
X dropped me in front of Thandi. She cried. Intended to make her and X angry. Ended up stuck with worst forms of both.
T continues to be kind. Dislike.
T strong marriage candidate as sole human. Also enjoys to read. High focus. Also immoral woman.
T found me after fight. She touched. Pleasant? Reconsidered joking proposal. Like touch, presuming that would like more. Proposed sincerely. T accepted. Hope to get to know better.
T seems to believe I am not sincere in proposal.
How to convince?
Bracelet given. Unexpected side effect: can feel physical sensation, minor hearing. Can differentiate between different touches.
She kissed it.
Requested that if I “fall in love” with another, I inform.
Problem: not capable of love?
Uncertain on definition—what defines parameters of love? Obligation? Prior reading points to actual feelings. Not certain precise feelings. Pain? Anxiety? Further reading needed.
T wants to personally raise and tutor children. Possible between studies? Anxious over desire for me to participate in child rearing. Don’t believe I am needed.
Perhaps look into child rearing sans governesses/tutors?
T likes camellias.
T breaks off engagement.
V informed me of T background. Concerned. Regarding dimension problem: consult X.
X refuses assistance in crossing to Faerûn until I am in love.
T admits to liking me. I am fond of her. Reconsidering rejection of proposal? Hopeful. Purchased armor. Not good enough armor. Temporary fix. Need to request armor that works better for her.
Note to self: separation anxiety, parameter? Notice preoccupation with wellbeing.
Separation anxiety manifests in passive anxiety, no attack yet. Every time she is elsewhere, trouble sure to follow.
Need to focus less on T, more on self. Less on self?
Uncertain of worthiness regarding T. Unable to protect. Dropped like sack of bricks.
T gave pin. Reassured me. Feels like she is humoring me. Still nice to hear.
Miss T. Physical contact if requested? ↩︎