_{post session 6.6}

Spent all fucking night with Thandi. She does not have a cloooooo

Fell asleep.

Making this entry as I wake. Ended up sleeping longer than usual. Solid six hours at least. Yesterday was eventful.

Firstly, Vitani. I believe she was pissed to begin with when I arrived. Awkward and moody woman. I tried to reason out that her teaching was lacking in guidance for Thandi and put her in a bad spot. Seems I wasn’t the only one to complain.

V spoke of removing Thandi from her post here. 

I do not wish for Thandi to be removed.

I spoke to Thandi at length (all night) and admittedly I rather think she would do well in Alleria as a whole. The poor thing does not have stars in her realm. No stars! How does one sleep at night without stars?

What the fuck?

After that we spoke further… She agreed to give me additional lessons while V procures an alchemist to teach me further brews. Thandi admits that V is slow on things (of course) and it will likely take some time.

And then we spoke further.

Thandi finished her new hairstyle. She baked me chocolate scones (shockingly good?). We spoke at length about evolution and magical creatures and stars and… everything. I lost track of time. 

I did not leave her room until she started stumbling over her words and we were both vetting quite tired. She has no.clock in her damned room. So many things in there and yet no.clock.

She was deliriously sleepy and yet somehow joyful. And of course S came out of his room to see her meowing at me like a cat while we were trying yet again to part. I think I said something I may come to regret.

So I believe I may have a new so-called “best” friend. Dean never was able to hold conversations like that with me before. I liked it. I think Thandi is… fun.

I will be returning for my lessons frequently. I do plan on making use of my watch now, though.

^{post session 6.4}

Had a chat with C today. They took me out. Ate these street crepes… Boyoman good I can’t recall the name of. Am now their personal doctor. 

Productive conversation. Trying to talk to them. Ending up talking about myself. Need to work on that. It turns out that C is more than just reasonable. I think they’re quite good, actually. Honest and straightforward. 

Worked afterwards. The system of favors is interesting. I am wondering if I can earn a proper place here to live instead of the Center.

^{post session 6.1}

E had requested reading lessons. Did not expect her to follow up.

She thanked me profusely and gave me bookmarks. They’re very artful.

Her ability to read and write basic common is about the same as Labor. It seems a common desire in the Haven is to read and write Common standard. Provided books and showed her where to get further studies.

Spoke at length about other things.

She seems a naïve girl but overall is unexpectedly sincere. Suspect she must have a similar approach to people as I. That said, she is far better at interpersonal relations. Romance between her and N¹. Can’t say unexpected in that regard.

Fascinating conversation.

Work has been going well.

Note to self: review interpersonal section of library.

post session 6

“Exam day”.

Piss off

Bullshit

T will always find a way to fuck us over without meaning to. She put our first “test” in the hands of some assholes and did not accompany us. What kind of teacher simply steps away and becomes a stupid little box to spectate upon?

If I introduced her to Mother as a teacher she would learn leagues!

The tower itself was wretched. Puzzles that tempted N² into ridiculous antics. S getting dragged about. C… well, I find C agreeable. Strange.

What is C’s angle?

Small dog woman with speech impediment at top of tower. Or was it the top? Stairs were not featured.

Celebratory “drink” with everyone after. They invited me out. S and N¹ made me tea. Brewed them well. I do miss Josiah’s brew.

It was fine.

To do: 

□ Speak to T about her teacher.

□ Find out why C is being kind.

□ E requested reading lessons

□ Work

It can’t wait.

She was so close today. The feeling of her fingers in his hair and over his body. They’re lingering on him. He’s dying for release.

The door to his apartment slams shut and he kicks off his shoes. He doesn’t even bother taking off his necktie as he drops onto the couch, unzipping, remembering the shape of her hips as she fell back into him weeks ago.

Thandi.

He’s so stupidly in love with her. Every little touch sends him spiraling. They flirt. They play. She calls him darling, makes him food.

His guilt freezes him midstroke. Is he a pet to her?

Thandi…

He wouldn’t mind. Not at all. If he could live with just what she gave him now, he’d still be happy. Especially when she pets him. Oh, he loves that. She’ll be teasing him and her hands touch his chest, his back, his stomach. 

He wishes, just once, her hands would venture lower. 

Thandi!

His hips rise and he gasps at the feeling of near-release. Just a little more.

Remember how soft she is, how kind, how doting. Remember that gentle way she smiles when he’s down. Her fingers in his hair. Tangling. Grabbing. Her voice. What sorts of noises would she make?

It doesn’t matter as long as it’s his name coming from her. She’d say it and kiss him with everything she’s got. Does she think of him? Does she remember that fall, his hands on her waist, holding her to him for that short moment? Does she think about touching his hair, kissing him?

I love you, Thandi!

Charlie catches his breath and slumps. Of course he does. Of course he loves her. There’s no world where he isn’t hopelessly in love with Thandi, he’s sure of it.

It was going to be a nice day. 

Charlie leans out of his window, breathing in the cool breeze. He runs his fingers along the leaves of the herbs in his window box, watching them rise to meet him, and smiles to himself.

“Charlie?” Thandi’s voice. Even now, after so long, he gets excited to see her. She waves up at him, basket hanging from her arm. “Charlie!”

“I’ll be right down!” His form shifts, and a raven flaps out of the window, gliding down to Thandi’s level. The raven swoops briefly before carefully landing on Thandi’s outstretched arm. It snaps its beak in appreciation and rubs Thandi’s face as she brings him closer.

“You didn’t have to come down that quickly, darling,” she says through a laugh. The raven responds with a shake of feathers. “Are you going to have our picnic like that?”

The raven hops from her arm and stumbles clumsily to the ground. Feathers melt away and Charlie stands, brushing off his vest. Before Thandi could speak, he gives her a hug around the middle and nuzzles her neck affectionately. “I was just excited.”

Laughing, Thandi reaches up with her free arm and gives him a scratch. “Let’s get to our picnic, shall we?”

The two part slowly, walking hand in hand into the small sitting garden that had been cultivated over the years, improved with Charlie’s magic. It’s a verdant, emerald paradise, filled with heavy flowers, chirping birds, and flitting insects. There is a cool spot under a willow tree that leans over like a canopy, offering shade and privacy. Thandi rummages through her bag, producing a checkered cloth and offering it to Charlie. He flaps it out, shooing things away from them as he does.

They quietly set out their meal, Thandi assembling Charlie’s onto a small ceramic plate. He does the same for her, and they exchange plates and smiles. It’s quiet, peaceful, and they lean against the trunk of the tree as they begin to eat.

“I can’t believe how long it’s been,” Charlie starts. He traces a circle in the air with a slice of apple. “Or that you finally said yes.”

“Well, I did say yes before,” Thandi replies. “We just weren’t quite ready.”

 “I suppose. Things would have been a lot different.” He crunches the apple between thoughts. “Maybe we would already be married.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Charlie. It would have been… a distraction?”

“I distracted you that much?”

“As if you weren’t distracted as well!”

The two of them laugh, Charlie reddening. He puts his plate aside and reaches out to touch Thandi’s hand. “You’re still distracting.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I—”

“Because you’re so…”

They stare at each other, Charlie slowly turning pinker and pinker. Thandi twines her fingers with his and leans forward. “Because I’m so…?”

“Ah… just, ha. You’re. Beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous.”

“And you’re a handsome, adorable, and…” She thinks for a beat. “Rugged! A rugged man.”

Charlie scoffs. “I’m nowhere near rugged!” He scoots closer to her, their sides touching now.

“Yes you are, dear, look at you! You’re practically a mountain man.” Thandi smiles as she teases him, putting aside her own plate. She reaches out and touches his face, scratching the hair as if she were stroking a cat. Charlie’s eyes flutter closed and he lets out a calm breath. He would usually argue the point, but it’s warm, and she’s with him, and it’s so nice today. He lays his head on her shoulder, enjoying the soft touches across his face, his hair, his shoulders. “Don’t fall asleep on me now, Charlie…”

“I won’t,” he mumbles, thumb beginning to stroke her fingers. Another long sigh leaves him. He is content.

Thandi flashes a mischievous smile and her finger catches on his bolo tie, pulling it gently. “Charlie…”

“Hmm?”

“Wake up, Charlie,” she says, undoing the top button of his loose cotton shirt. His eyes open and he stares at her. Thandi realizes then how close his face is, and they both draw a deep breath. Charlie’s eyes drift down to her lips and he reaches up, cupping her cheek. She grasps his hand, and slowly, Charlie pulls her closer to him.

Her lips are so soft.

They linger for a moment before kissing again. Twice. Three times. They both share a mutual look of longing, years of restraint slowly coming undone as they touch each other. Charlie pulls Thandi closer, until she has to shift to be in front of him, and he buries his face into her chest. She smiles down at him, once more touching his hair as he nuzzles her.

“I can’t believe it,” he mutters, barely loud enough for Thandi to hear.

“Me neither, darling,” she whispers back.

Charlie looks up at her, arms wrapped around her, and he gives her a smile. “We’re alone, finally,” he says to her.

“Yes, we are! Do you think we should have invited some people to come with us for lunch? Merre? Pike?”

“Thandi,” he groans. “No. I want… I want to… Thandi.”

“Did you want more food?” She smiles at him, wanting him to say it.

“Thandi, I, you know…”

Her bracelet flourishes as he flounders with his words, struggling to put together his exact desires. It twines up her arm, gently stroking her wrist as she watches Charlie sweat it out.

“Yes, dear?”

“I love you so much,” he finally says. “And. You love me. Right?”

“Yes…”

“And… we’ve both been… and we both, you know, have… expressed this privately…”

“Go on…”

“Can we express it…together?”

She laughs and gives him a hug. “Really? Now?”

He nods, sincere.

“I don’t…” She feels him kiss her chest, right where her dress dips. “…well, maybe.”

Charlie continues to kiss her chest, his whiskers tickling her as he moves up, kissing her collarbone, her neck, her ear. His hot breath on her face at first is amusing, but Thandi sees how serious he is as he leans forward and kisses her. It’s a different kiss from before, hungrier, wanting more from her.

Thandi’s hands move to unbutton his vest, and she feels the small, living threads keeping it closed undo themselves. Charlie shrugs off the vest and allows her to undo his shirt now, watching her closely. Thandi bites her lip and glances at his face, slowly undoing the buttons, revealing his chest and the long-healed scar across it. She leans forward and kisses it, one hand tracing the line. Charlie’s breath stutters at her touch and she smiles now, resting her head against him.

He now reaches out, hands touching her breasts through her dress. Charlie smiles, realizing that Thandi has gone braless for the day, and she blushes as his hands follow the shape of her chest, thumbs running across her nipples as he does this. Somehow, the tease gives her goosebumps, and she reaches up to run her fingers through Charlie’s hair and allow him better access to her. Flowers drip from his tresses now, and she giggles.

“Hm?” Charlie asks as he pulls the dress off her shoulders.

“Oh, it’s… so adorable!”

“Adorable?”

“Your hair, Charlie.”

“You, Thandi.”

They look at each other for a moment, wondering briefly what to do with the lull, but Charlie again reaches out and pulls her into his lap now, pulling her dress over her head and tossing it aside. Tendrils of green rise from the tree and the grass around them, tickling Thandi’s legs. Charlie doesn’t seem to notice, and if he does, he doesn’t show it.

“You’re… wow,” he says, eyes drinking in everything. Her breasts, her stomach, the cute line of her panties. Thandi crosses her arms in front of her, face hot under his gaze.

“That’s not fair!” Thandi gives him a little pout, gesturing to him, still nearly fully clothed.

“Fix it, then,” Charlie says, gently moving her arms to kiss each breast. She pushes his shirt off of him, about to chastise him, when she feels his tongue on her nipple. She lets out a little gasp, and Charlie continues his work. He licks and sucks on her, one hand working on her other nipple and the other holding her still as she holds onto him.

He trails kisses back up to her face and gently touches his forehead to hers. They breathe in each other’s scent, hearts hammering, and Thandi runs a hand over Charlie’s chest again. She feels the scars of their time together, little reminders that Charlie kept and that she felt guilt for. He sees her expression darken and sighs.

“We don’t… It was just…”

Thandi touches his belt. “We will.”

He nods as she opens up his pants, reaching to feel him through his cotton drawers. Charlie gasps now, hands holding her firmly. They look at each other again and then they laugh. “Oh, we didn’t. Think about just…okay,” Charlie chuckles.

Thandi pushes out of his lap and stands, offering him a hand. He takes it gladly and they stare at each other. Slowly, he slides off the rest of his clothing, and Thandi does the same.

Charlie glances down, now embarrassed, and opens his mouth to make excuses, but Thandi steps close to him and her hand runs up his length. He shivers and pulls her to be chest to chest with him, kissing her hard. Thandi presses against him, and they backpedal against the willow, the stout bark offering Charlie support as their hands slide up and down each other’s bodies.

Thandi reaches down again and adjusts his angle, wrapping his cock between her thighs, squeezing him there teasingly. He takes a deep breath, eyes closing. He could feel her heat, her wetness on him, and he bites his lip.

“Thandi, put your arms around my neck.”

“Like…this?” She laces her fingers around his neck, wondering what he was up to.

Charlie gives her a nod, lowers himself slightly, and he cups her bottom.

“What are you do—” 

Charlie picks Thandi up with a quiet grunt and she gives a small shout of surprise before wrapping her legs around his middle. He smiles at her and turns them both so it’s her back against the tree, and he lines himself up with her.

“Are you ready?”

Thandi doesn’t reply. She simply looks him up and down before offering a nod. She feels him slowly push into her and she moans, hissing to herself as he slowly opens her depths. Charlie’s eyes are closed as he does this, and his hair overflows with greenery now. Thandi’s bracelet, too, has loosened its grip on her while twining up to her shoulder, putting out buds.

He feels her all around him, and as she slowly relaxes, he adjusts his grip on her, rocking her on him gently. Again, she bites back a moan and a gasp as willow branches slither down, wrapping them as Charlie begins to pump in and out of her.

Thandi’s hold weakens slightly, and Charlie takes a small step to push her torso closer to his. Her nails dig in as he continues his rhythm, breathing hard in her ear.

“Charlie…”

“What is it?” he asks breathlessly, hips still rocking as they press to the tree.

“Ahn… It’s—” She cries out as he picks up the pace. “Charlie, just—oooh…”

He kisses her neck and continues, loving the feeling of her legs wrapped around him and her nails scratching his back. She suddenly squeezes his cock tightly and he almost stumbles, striking her deeper than he intended. Thandi moans once more, in his ear, and his heart could just give out at any moment now.

He stops his movements now, and Thandi gives him a whimper. “Why did you…?”

Charlie lowers her on top of the picnic blanket, letting her adjust before leaning down and kissing her, hand stroking her thigh now as he resumes his slow beat, taking time to grind them together as he does this. He looses a breath as he begins to pick up the pace, sweat beading on their bodies as they concentrate together. Thandi reaches down, feels him pounding against her, and begins to massage her clit.

Charlie concentrates on not slumping on top of her, quiet… until he feels her begin to slowly clamp down harder on him.

“Thandi, that’s—”

“Keep going, keep goooing!” She squeals as she says this, back beginning to arch. Her legs grip him like a vice, forcing him to go deep and fast. “Oooh, Charlie, this…!”

She goes silent and then releases a shout, spasming around Charlie’s cock. He swallows his breath as he keeps the rhythm, feeling himself release and hoarsely calling Thandi’s name. They stop, finally, breathing hard as they stare at each other. Petals rain down on them, and as their awareness of the world around them returns, they see that the garden has gone a little wild.

Thandi releases Charlie, who reluctantly removes himself from her. She sits up and laughs. “Did we do that?”

Charlie looks at the now overgrown clover, the willow branches swaying in long ropes around them, the bushes nearby now towering over the average man’s height even as they’re weighed down by enormous blooms. He rubs the back of his neck, chuckling.

“That… yes. I should probably… do something about that.”

“It can wait, darling,” Thandi says as she leans forward to kiss his chest once more. “We have a picnic to finish.”

It’s been well over two days and Charlie still can’t sleep. He doesn’t get it. Chamomile. Lavender. Cannabis seeds. Valerian root. Catnip. Nothing he makes brings sleep. It just makes him exhausted on top of the insomnia.

He’s already useless as a doctor, but a doctor without sleep is worse. Things poke him, prod him, and he’s so weak-willed right now. Eventually, his constant weeping gets a gruff sigh and a shove into Thandi.

“You’ve got potion for that, right, Thandi?”

“I should…Charlie? Come along now, darling.”

He stumbles after her, his wrist grasped tight. She sits him down in her bedroll, opening her bag and pulling out her signature silver flask. “This always helps me, Charlie. Vitani brews it herself!”

“I…that’s your medicine, Thandi…” She looks at him, dark rims under his eyes giving him a ghoulish appearance. He’s looking horrible. In fact…worse than he should be.

“Manifestus veneficium.“

“What are you looking at, Thandi?”

She shushes him, looking him over, and she sees it. A glittering thread, highlighted with her altered vision, mended into his vest. A curse given form. “There it is! You’ll be just fine, Charlie. Just like so…“

He watches her hand come toward him and he flinches. There’s a moment where it’s like she’s unraveling him, and then it’s gone. Thandi winds the thread between her fingers and holds it out to him. Charlie furrows his brows.

“Come now, you have to break the curse. Just sweep your hand through, darling.”

The thread is invisible to him, but he slices his hand through the air all the same. As soon as it’s broken, it’s like everything hits him all at once. Thandi catches him and eases him back to sleep on her bedroll. She straightens his hair with a small smile and lets him catch up.

Her hand hesitates when she reaches out for him. To feel that touch…he leans forward, but she shies further. Charlie’s heart aches.

“Please. Dearest…it’s me.”

The words come out twisted, a snarl that can’t seem to wrap around the common tongue. Thandi flinches and Charlie’s wings droop. He’s not familiar with the creature he’s become, but it’s so big that Thandi is dwarfed by him. There’s these enormous wings, feathered between long stretches of skin. He sees both fur and scales on his body, talons that would be more at home on the feet of a raptor than his…could he call them hands?

All five digits. Hands it is.

Again, he touches his nose to Thandi. I miss you. I love you. It’s me.

“Darling…you’ve become…”

An answer is what he needs. 

“…a dragon. One I’ve never seen before. And…”

Please. Love me anyway. I need to hear it.

“…I can’t bear to love a monster.”

The world crashes and falls through his fingers.

Fingers, not talons. He stares at his hands, his skin, the familiar calluses, his hardy palms. A relief.

A bad dream…he’s been having  only bad dreams lately. Not nightmares, but depressing. Like his spirit is being crushed. Every night, something different. A bear. An eel. a goblin. Dozens of creatures he could not name, and less that he would even recognize. 

Charlie pushes himself up, stepping over Merre as he goes to sit by the fire. The ghost white of her dress brings out a worried sigh. Charlie sits beside Thandi and puts a hand on her back. She startles for a moment and he sees the tears in her eyes. Quietly, he opens his arms. “Come home,” he mumbles and she laughs. 

Then she’s warm in his arms and he squeezes her gently. “Thandi. I’ll help you. No matter what. No matter what.”

“Even if I’m… sp…”

“I will hold you together myself.”

“That’s right,” Rose goes on, leaning against Thandi. “He fucked me. And I bet he’ll do it again.”

“His cock is amazing,” Larissa says on her other side. “Ten inches at least.”

The two women nod sagely as Thandi hugs herself. Charlie really is a rake. All these people… all these people say that he’s been with them! She struggles to get a smile on her face. “That sure sounds nice.”

“It is. And now you’re his personal maid. So that makes you his personal fucktoy.” Larissa licks her lips, giving Thandi a smile with too much teeth. “Enjoy, newbie.”

Thandi is shoved out of the group and she plods back to work. She tidies. Neatens. Organizes. And… wonders. Is her master really at meetings right now? Or are they meetings of the other sort?

She had always heard of him being a rake, but it seems so incongruent with his personality. He doesn’t even like to touch people!

Maybe… maybe she should simply… ask him? 

Tonight. 

Yes.

Her master arrives during the dinner bell and she scrambles for food. Little things she knows he will eat. Nothing too greasy. Nothing too rich. He likes meat but he seems to have a disdain for the cooking that Roseview has…

He sits to start reading reports as she sets up her cart beside him, beginning to feed him dutifully. He leans to take a bite of pasta, brow crimping as he glances at her.

“You are making the face. I told you to ask me anything, Dandelion. You are so worried over your visions that you forget everything else. Like the fact that I abhor tomatoes.”

“Ah! You ate some, though!!!” 

“Mm. Disregard. What is it?”

“Do you know… Rose and Larissa? Maids…”

“I don’t know that I do. I don’t really interact with them.” 

Thandi studies his face. He looks so utterly bored, eyes sliding back to his papers. She takes a deep breath. “They say they’ve been with you.”

“And you believe them?”

“I don’t know!” Thandi pauses with the pasta, setting the fork down so she can fuss with the ring on her finger, a self-soothing motion. “I see you for so little of the day. I meet so many people who tell me things and then they give me details…”

Charlie sets down his papers, his expression growing stormy. “So you do believe them. What sorts of details have they given you, Dandelion? Enlighten me.” He turns his chair to face her, and Thandi suddenly recalls what she was told. You’re his personal fucktoy.

Her visions are filled with him, always him, and she had… had one. That she pushed away. She didn’t want to think about.

But now. Now the vision swims in the back of her mind. His face close to hers, sweaty and red and half-lidded, pupils blown wide. The sensation of heat. 

Thandi is trembling now.

Charlie’s brow twitches. “Well? Did you forget I am right in front of you?”

“N-no!”

“So tell me. What details did they give you?”

“Bedroom habits, sir!”

His eyes widen. “Sir? Sir? How many times have I asked you not to call me sir? Are we frightened again, Dandelion? You’re shaking.”

“I’m sorry!” Thandi nearly sobs, but she stifles it with a deep breath. “I’m sorry. They. They won’t stop talking about it. They. They all…”

“You absolutely believe them.”

“I…”

“You think I’ve been slutting it up. Sowing my wild oats. You think I’ve been fucking around. What else do you think of me? Hm?”

Shoot. A tear rolls down her cheek and he reaches out to brush it away. Thandi flinches from his hand and he pulls back, letting the tear drop.

“Why don’t I have the right to cry in this situation?” He mumbles, standing. Thandi tries not to look directly at him. The vision is taking up a lot of her mind. “Dandelion. Thandi. I am no rake. I don’t have the heart for it.” He pauses, and she finally looks up to see his dark expression directed elsewhere. “You don’t need to sleep on the palette if you don’t want to. If you’re so frightened of becoming one of my lovers. I’m sure there’s plenty of room in the servant’s wing. In the meanwhile, I’ll be going out.”

“Out?! But! Your food—”

“Well, how else am I going to get laid? By staying and getting cozy with you?” He spits it out, shaking his head. His fists are clenched. 

Thandi’s gaze drops. “…understood, master Vanderbee.”

She hears an offended grunt from him before he storms out of his rooms, slamming the door, making her flinch. She… she really messed this up.

What if the vision is wrong? What if she’s wrong?

She sniffles and lets herself cry at last, feeling helpless. He’s run off again. She should have trusted him. 

But trust… is so hard.