Charlie begging for comfort before bed.

I’ve bound our very first fic! It came to over 32000 words, so I decided to try doing a hardcover for the first time. Maybe I’ll rebind it another time? It was an adventure, since I usually keep my binding projects fairly simple.

Since I’m not posting the entirety of the Coffeehouse AU for public consumption, I figured I would like to post up the work I did in 2023 for it!

The comic above shows just how old this story is. I ended up using this art when I did the typesetting for this scene as well. This was originally something I posted up for a DoDL as well.

I would post the fake website images as well but I’m afraid I don’t remember where I sourced the photos I used (seeing as the actual fic is for Writer Eyes Only), so this will have to do.

“Shot in the dark, here, but are ya seein anyone?”

The dark-skinned beauty gasps in response, a little squeak that makes Charlie’s whole being melt. Thandi has been the object of his affection for years, and so now… he sent Dean in. To collect more information. Of course she would gasp. How utterly cute. She’ll say no, and Dean will mention he has a friend, and why don’t they meet up…

Thandi laughs awkwardly. “Sorry, Dean. I have someone I’m interested in.”

What? Charlie can’t even hear the rest of their conversation. The world falls out from under him. The woman he loves… has someone. Someone. Someone.

His heart, gods! Who ever knew such pain could exist?!

Charlie quickly nips away, clutching at his chest. He can feel himself one step away from a panic attack. The small impulse to find Thandi like always makes it worse and he stumbles into his office and locks the door before crumpling onto the floor.

He can’t breathe.

He’s gasping for air.

He’s crying.

Oh, fuck him sideways, he’s fucking crying!

Pathetic!!

The only option now is to move on. He can do that. He can. It isn’t as if he’s spent five years pining after the same woman. That they’ve been close for those five years. 

But if she has someone she likes, knowing her… she can’t be persuaded to deviate. And he hadn’t deviated, not once, never… but…

He’s hyperventilating on the floor, knowing that now, maybe his love is a problem.

“So that’s why you want us to help you?”

Charlie nods, sitting up in his chair, legs crossed with his hands folded neatly atop his knee. “Out of everyone I know, I think you and Dean would have the most experience in, ah. This realm.”

“Charlie, I don’t think this is one a’ yer good ideas. I think maybe ya just need to ride out the blow…”

“Ride it out? How could I? I’ve loved her for five years and I could love her for another five. I don’t fancy being a crumpled heap on the fucking floor.”

Ayanda sighs, glancing at Dean. “Maybe we just give him a confidence boost. Take him out. I mean, at the very least, we get a DD, right?”

Dean sighs, hand rising to press his hat atop his head, as if it’s liable to fall off at any moment. “Fine. We’ll work wit’it, but. I also don’t wanna see m’best friend cry like that again.”

Words are still not coming to him. Not easily. He runs on want and need and the basest drive of life.

Persist.

When Thandi speaks, he can’t understand. He can’t form the words or make the thoughts communicable. He simply wants her and wants her to understand that she has him now, and she shall never want for anyone else.

Mother of course reminds him that there is a need for her help, but she understands that being alive means to suffer from emotion. He does not know why it is suffering but he knows that he likes it well enough. He has lots of time to get help. And he has lots of time to mate.

She seems scared, so he pulls a small word from the dark depths of memory. Safe. “Thandi safe.” He won’t hurt her. He won’t be cruel. He simply wants to be with her. She seems hesitant, so he eases her. Every step, he tries to understand desperately her desires until they both overlap and she seems to understand. They are mates now, and he will always take care of her. He will make sure she is fed and warm and happy. He will make sure she feels good and has everything she needs for kittens. He is eager to start chasing after the thing that he wanted and doesn’t remember. He is eager for her.

For a long time, he simply is.

There is a sense of loss, a sense of loneliness, but it is mollified by instinct and animal thought and Mother. A different Mother, one who wraps him up tight and holds onto him until such a time as he is ready to be born anew.

But Mother, she is sick, and she is dying. Her heart was never the kindest, but it was never hateful, not until a visitor came and he was pushed out, out, out. At the time he thought little of it. Just that he had to keep doing what instinct told him to do.

And instinct brought him to savagery, then fascination. A fascination. He watches a new visitor. The opposite of the other. A light. She is a walking light. She speaks and it tickles something in the back of his basest mind. Awakens a desire in him to… to… something. 

He wanted something once.

A long time ago.

Something he couldn’t have.

But now, here… watching her. He has it.