Tag: Chandis 1

  • Familiar Melody

    Familiar Melody

    tbo offshoot, sleep, dreams, hook

    The air is cool tonight. He takes a deep breath, tasting the fog as it twists around the trees. It’s always this place lately, something sinister and tense about it. He’d sometimes hear distant screaming as he roams the forest, and it chills him.

    Each night he sees this, he has the unsettling feeling that the screams are familiar. They tear through the air, rending the silence to shreds. The screams haven’t started yet.

    So he wanders.

    Podzol crunches under his boots. Unseen birds take flight. His breath, clouding around him, seems only to add to the thickness of the fog. A stick snaps.

    The world slows down. The ashen face of a woman as she runs, hands out, reaching for—for what? Him? No. Escape. The terror on her face as she slams into him. A guttural laugh. A shape in the fog. His arms encircling her quivering form. Stepping away from the looming creature.

    Plunging backwards through darkness.

    The screaming. Her screaming. A clawed hand.

    Silence.

    It’s as if they fell into water. He’s blinded by the swirl of hair around the woman. She’s so familiar. The thoughts flee as she clutches at him, and he realizes he can breathe. They’re somewhere else. She sobs into his chest.

    He’s compelled to hold her, letting her cry herself out, letting her bury her face into him. The lack of discomfort is startling, but he scarcely has a moment to consider it before he hears her voice.

    It’s oddly distant.

    Oh… I wish you were real…

    “I am real.”

    You saved me today.

    “I’m glad. I don’t want you to be hurt again.” Again? What is he talking about?

    Perhaps I can actually rest tonight.

    “Perhaps. I’ll be here as long as you need.”

    This, he is sincere in. They sit in this void, him holding her as she curls up, face buried into his shoulder. He hums for her. Waking comes too soon.

    Charlie yawns as he sits up, dream vague. It’s early enough that he could wash without anyone seeing him. A quick splash in the icy stream, a good preen. He hums the lullaby his mother always sang him; the privacy and the quiet lulls him into a sense of security he rarely has the fortune of experiencing.

    “Ch-Charlie? Where have you heard that song?”

    He turns, thankful she came after his wash. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    “That song, Charlie. It’s very important that I know.”

    “Just…” Her eyes threaten to spill over with tears, and he can’t bear to lie much more. “A song. My mother used to sing.”

    “…is it a common one?”

    “I don’t know. She learned it from her personal valet.”

    Thandi hesitates, hugging herself, prompting Charlie to approach and open his arms to invite her to him. She glances at him, around them, and then throws herself into his arms.

    It must have been some nightmare.

    So… he hums for her, keeping her safe against him. It seems to soothe her. They stand there for some time, and eventually she moves away, giving Charlie a curious look.

    “Thank you… I think… I’m all right for now.”

    “I’m happy to do it. I’ll be here as long as you need.”

  • She’ll Be Home Soon

    She’ll Be Home Soon

    annotated extra story, nsfw, charlie masturbating, modern

    He’s got the timing down for their schedules. The days she will be coming home—coming over, that is—he goes in to work early and leaves work early. There’s been a problem building up lately that he’d rather avoid coming to light: he’s in love with his best friend.

    And their closeness, their affection towards one another… he’s failed to explicitly inform her how touch affects him, which is to say: immensely. With her, there’s an open invitation to touch, and she’s rarely seen him around others, so she perhaps doesn’t realize the pains he goes through in order to avoid even the most casual of contact with others.

    This, coupled with his want for her when they cuddle up close, always results in a dire wish for relief. So, under guise of freshening up for her arrival, he’s taken to showering and relieving the problem for the night. It leaves him free to spoil her with affection without distraction.

    As he rinses the shampoo from his hair, the fantasy starts. Her fingers running through his hair as she pets him, smiling at him in that gentle way she does. It’s her hands running over his body, not just him washing. Her hands…

    She’s a habit of running her fingers along his neck, hooking a finger along the neckline of his shirts to play with idly. Even remembering this shoots pleasure down to his groin, remembering the gentle way she massages his skin, occasionally running her fingers over his chest when she curls against him.

    The way she smiles, laughs, seems to enjoy their time together…Charlie rinses himself again and leans against the wall, stroking himself to his full size. His breathing stutters as he imagines her blushing at him, kneeling between his legs as they sit at the couch. He’s delicate with his touch as he imagines her pawing at him through his pants, running her fingers along his stomach and thighs to tease him.

    He’d be smiling at her, enjoying the attention, and she would slowly, slowly slide his pants down. What sort of face would she make? Maybe she’d bite her lip and smile shyly at him, the way she does when his hugs linger a little longer than necessary. And her charming blush… so cute.

    Charlie sighs to himself as he starts an agonizingly sluggish rhythm, imagining her acquainting herself. Kissing up and down… paying special attention to the tip, aaah… His breath stutters out once more.

    Her mouth on him. What would she do? Thandi is clever. It wouldn’t take her long to find something he would enjoy. Her tongue… swirling just like that… moist. Hot. Slick. She’d take her time, he’s certain, and oh… oh… he’d ask her to undress.

    How would she do it? That smile she gets sometimes when she teases him, that’s the one. When she knows she’s got the upper hand in whatever silly game they’re playing. And her eyes wouldn’t leave him, not once. He’d follow her example. Invite her into his lap.

    Her lips… must be so soft. She would taste amazing. He’d kiss and suck and lick as she hovers just above him, just one errant buck away from union. Her breasts… they’re wonderful.

    She’s spent more than one night braless, chest pressed to his, nipples peaked from the cold. He can’t seem to help but remember those winter nights as she snuggled up, his eyes scanning her body even as he willed himself otherwise. And here… he would love to touch and stroke them. They’re probably as soft as her mouth. Hmmn…

    Imagine pressing the tip of his cock to her hot entrance, feeling how wet she is from the play. She’d likely be shy. Take her time. Build the tension.

    Her name falls from his lips involuntarily. “Thandi…”

    Pressing into her. Feeling her envelope him.

    “Thandi…”

    Sliding down his length, squeezing around him.

    “Aah… fuck… Thandiii…”

    The climb to orgasm begins in earnest. He wants desperately to watch himself sink into her, watch her take him in, see her face as she cries out for him. She would kiss him between moans of pleasure, try her best to keep up with his bucking hips. And he’d be sure to tell her how he feels the entire time.

    “Thandi… I love you… I love you… I love you… please, gods…”

    He could weep from how good it would feel to have her clamp down on him, thighs squeezing closed as she cries out. And he wouldn’t stop, no! He wants to give her pleasure that she could never manage to give herself.

    “Aaaahn… Thandi! Fuck… yes! Yes! You feel so good!” She would. She would! Yes! More, just a little more, imagine that cute little squeal, imagine her voice as she bounces on him, imagine as her nails dig into his skin, as he nips and sucks and licks her neck and her chest as they—oh, oh, oh, oh!

    Inside of her. He cries out her name, free hand slamming the tiled wall of the shower, imagining filling her, imagining how she would drip with him!

    The pleasure is immense.

    It fades slowly, and it’s like sound comes back. The hiss of the water, his own ragged heartbeat, the whirring of the bathroom fan. He rinses himself off one last time and turns the water off. The heat of the water is a good cover for his flushed face, washing away the sweat and the dazed expression.

    He likes to think that Thandi enjoys seeing him fresh from the shower, baring some skin for her. It’s wishful thinking, but it makes him happy all the same. He hums a melody as he dresses and dries, stretches out the drowsiness that accompanies his relief.

    He exits his bedroom and there she is, headphones in. His heart skips a beat and there’s an instant where he wishes she knew and reciprocated. Of course, that’s just wishful thinking. He knows better by now not to get his hopes up. They’re just close. Charlie creeps up behind her and pulls the earbud from her ear before wrapping her into a tender hug. “Hey, welcome home.”

  • Home

    Home

    modern, pining

    The quiet is maddening. It’s no perfect silence, as there is the distant hum of the hardware in the kitchen and crickets outside. But! To Charlie, the silence is overbearing.

    Usually now, they’d be chatting about nothing in particular. Books, maybe. Something that they spied throughout the day. Thinking about dinner. Tonight, though, Charlie is alone.

    And he has been for the past month.

    And he will be for the next few months.

    She had to rush off, her skills in high demand, and he stayed behind. It seemed such an easy thought before now.

    He haunts his own home as he paces and tidies and fidgets about, starting to wonder if perhaps he should simply start spending more time at work. Things here just aren’t the same. There’s no reason for him to come home.

    Home isn’t this empty apartment.

    Home is her.

  • Cowardice

    Cowardice

    tbo canon

    “Charles! What do you think?”

    Charlie grimaces as he watches the arms of the sube man shake under the weight of Yu Min. It’s like watching an elderly dog being brought out on the hunt.

    Yu Min gestures to another sube servant, her face a mask of calm. “Sit!”

    “Er…” How does one even respond to this? “I’d rather not.”

    There’s a snort as Yu Min shakes his head. “You’re too soft, Charles. My mother bought me all these sube for whatever I wanted. They don’t get angry like in all those stories.”

    “Honestly, I’d really rather not touch any of your animals. They seem ill.” Charlie steps back. How long until he can make his escape? “It’s rather a poor indication of your own status, not being able to afford the actual furniture. You’re showing off an empty bottle of wine, shithead.”

    There’s a snarl and Yu Min stands, kicking over the ‘seat’ offered to Charlie. “Your father will hear about your poor attitude. You’re meant to marry my sister.”

    “Don’t fucking worry, he knows. I’d rather rut with a beast than fuck your sister.”

    There it is. The clenching of Yu Min’s fist. He runs at Charlie, who ducks out of the way and scrambles across the greenery of the courtyard.

    “Coward!”

    Cowardice has kept him alive so far, at least.

  • What Makes It Love?

    What Makes It Love?

    tbo book 1 canon, charlie thoughts (tbo-era), pining

    Thandi’s words roll through Charlie’s head time and again. What even is love?

    He reviews his assessment of her.

    • She’s human, and a good match for keeping the bloodline pure.
    • She’s competent, a quick study.
    • She appears to be sympathetic to his feelings.
    • Her knowledge of magic will be useful in the future.
    • She’s well-read and an excellent conversationalist.
    • Her temperament, though pleasing, needs work.
    • She seems to believe that his participation in child rearing and child making is absolutely necessary.

    Hmm. The list feels incomplete. It doesn’t encompass… whatever it is that she stirs in him. He’s sure that he loves his mother, and Josiah. The feeling is very different from what he experiences with Thandi, though.

    Thandi… something about her makes him want to… give to her. Seeing her smile gives him an odd euphoria, almost like a drug. It’s more than that, though. Since she crossed the line and… hugged… him, stroked his hair, he’s… wanted more. Comfort related to his childhood?

    In which case, why does he crave it from her versus anyone else? There’s an unspoken exception to her in his personal set of rules.

    Not only this, but he can’t seem to stop watching her. Thandi’s appearance is magnetic. He could pick her out from a crowd based only on how she walks, holds herself. And she is gorgeous, aesthetically speaking. If he drew more than plants, he’d like to draw her.

    It seems that all reason goes out the window lately when he is faced with her. He realizes that he’s simultaneously desperate for her approval and others’ approval of her. It’s beginning to seem that he is left defending Thandi against the party—she isn’t conniving, she’s not plotting, and it seems that her enthusiasm for people is real.

    Perhaps that is why he likes her. She seems genuine. Her focus is admirable, and…

    And…

    He doesn’t want to be separated.

    Is that all it is? Separation anxiety? An attachment formed in a desperate search for comfort?

    There’s no way to know.

    She makes him stupid for her attention, and he can’t seem to grasp the ability to think clearly when her eyes are on him. And worse, when there are others there to see his weakness around her, he can’t seem to help bristling.

    All he has to go on is the physiological response: tight chest, phantom touches, anxiety… pain.

    Perhaps love is pain.

  • Cold Night

    Cold Night

    child abuse, tbo canon

    There is a chill in the air today.

    Charlie pulls his jacket tighter around his shoulders, giving a nod to the servant on the other side of the glass. She returns the nod, expression grave, before leaving him in the back gardens.

    Locked out again.

    Father found the bloodstains from his practice, and decided to discourage further “damage of property” by ordering him out into the night for the nth time.

    Charlie sighs and paces to keep warm for now.

    He’s grateful, at least, that as low as he is, he’s no sube. Compared to him, they’re animals. He’s better than them. Granted, he’s never spoken to any sube, but it’s a relief to see that someone else is suffering.

    And that he can enforce that suffering.

    As much as his mother disapproves of this attitude, there’s no reason for him to pretend he doesn’t hate them.

    He coughs. The stitches on his thighs itch. He wasn’t allowed enough time to apply a poultice to the lines. Frustrating. He stares at the forest longingly.

    He’s told that there are families deep in the forest, all sube. It pisses him off that even sube can find freedom somewhere, and he can’t ever escape. He’s got so little time left until his father simply loses patience and marries him to whoever would accept his hand. And then he’s expected to engage in… ugh.

    Charlie stands at the edge of the forest, staring in. Wouldn’t it be funny if he just branded himself and ran off?

    He’s not ready for that yet. And he still enjoys being above something.

    It’s time to gather wood and try to start a fire. It’s only going to get colder.

  • She’s a Goddess

    She’s a Goddess

    drunk!charlie, fluff, painful kisses, tbo offshoot, sleep

    The familiar tilt of the world after drinking would upset him if he was sober. Unfortunately, though, he isn’t, and won’t be for quite some time. People always manage to keep the drinks coming at parties like these, and then he drinks. It’s in his hand, he must, and gods.

    He’s lonely.

    Of course he is. The party never seems to understand him. And, well. He’s not sociable enough to be able to make friends with anyone else they just met. Despite this, he searches for someone. Anyone. Anyone will do, just to keep him company for the night.

    He pauses.

    That’s simply not true. There is only one person that he wants to spend the night with, and only one person who he trusts will still remain with him in the morning.

    And there she is.

    Why does she always look so worried when he drinks? That’s not an expression that she should be wearing.

    “Thandi… my love… what troubles you so?”

    “Oh, darling, you’ve gone and done this again…” Her hands reach for him. Please! Touch him. Make everything better. Make him feel like someone cares. “Thandi… you’re so beautiful.”

    She is. Look at how bright her face is. Look at how her dress swirls around her. She’s the picture of grace, the picture of elegance, and such a beautiful example of perfection.

    Even her quirks, those little things she does, they’re so lovely. They add to her charm.

    Her fingers meet his cheek, and he presses his face to her hand. The other hand fixes his hair, and gods… what a comfort. The world isn’t so bad as long as she’s in it. He’s got to make sure she knows.

    So he reaches out for her, touching her waist—so soft, so perfectly made for him—and he can’t help but sigh as he pulls her to him. “I love you… I love you… you’re the sun in my sky… the stars of my night…” His embrace is tight, and he presses his face to her stomach. Imagine! Would she allow him to have children with her? That’s amazing. A miracle.

    “You don’t mean that, darling… you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying!” Despite her words, she cradles him against her, allows him to remain snug.

    “My dearest. My truest. My one and only love. I do know. We will marry, and it will be phenomenal.” He kisses her stomach, squeezes her tight.

    “Darling… I think it’s time for bed…”

    Bed? With her?

    Amazing. He stands and sways her in a sort of dance, excited to be wrapped up with her.

    “Yes! Yes! Let’s go, my love, a thousand pardons for my enthusiasm!”

    She takes his hand and leads him. No one else exists. It’s only her. He can’t stop telling her all the ways she makes him feel. How he feels like she’s the only one that will ever treat him like he matters. The only one who understands him.

    She doesn’t respond. She doesn’t need to.

    Is she crying?

    He must reassure her. He’s got to be the one she can turn to!

    “My love. My dearest darling. What’s wrong?”

    “We can’t, Charlie. I’ve told you time and again, my life isn’t mine to give.”

    “Allow me to be a temporary reprieve! Oh, Thandi, I want you to feel loved, even if it is only the humble me. You’ve melted my heart of hearts. I only want you to be happy, even if only for a short time!”

    She pulls him into the inn as he waxes on, guiding him carefully into her room. As soon as the door clicks shut, Charlie wraps her in his arms, lifting her slightly off the ground. She’s got to know how much he would sacrifice for her.  How important she is. How wonderful.

    He puts her down and leans close to her face, hands stroking her cheeks now. They’re nose to nose. He sees her eyes dart down and up. “I love you. I would lay myself down in front of death’s door if it would buy you even a minute more—”

    “No! I don’t want you to die for me!”

    “I would live to be so fortunate as to die in your stead! I would count my blessings with every lashing I keep from you! My heart aches when you hurt. And my heart always aches.”

    He kisses her nose and is struck with that horrible pain, like needles sliding into his skin, ten thousand razors across his palms. Thandi holds her breath in horror as he hisses, waiting for the pain to ebb away.

    “Charlie—”

    He kisses her nose again. It’s like the worst migraine that’s ever haunted him, like an explosion of shattered bone in him. His knees buckle. He feels ill. Thandi begins to panic.

    She tries to pick him up, get him to the bed.

    “I love you,” he mumbles. He allows himself to be sat onto the mattress, holding tight to Thandi’s hands. She stoops, looking into his eyes.

    “Like… the finest gems… the sky is trapped in your eyes…” He leans forward and their lips brush. Again, he is seized by the pain. Thandi weeps. He can’t understand her words through the intensity of the ache. Organs removed, tendons cut, heart stopped. “Nothing… compares to the pain… of my losing you…” he breathes.

    Thandi is shaking her head. Her voice seems far away. He would die for a real kiss.

    “Charlie, I know you love me! I love you. But this—this isn’t—”

    He grabs her, elated over her confession. One more hug! One more kiss! Stay, stay, stay, don’t let the wretched darkness and the horror of loneliness take him!

    “I will sleep with you! But no more kisses, darling.”

    “Thandi…”

    “I’m not happy to see you in pain!”

    He nods, staring up at her. She drifts away and with a gesture, indicates that she is going to change. Charlie lays down, kicks off his shoes, and buries his face in her pillow. It’s nowhere near as soft as she is.

    Aaah, to embrace her again. To feel her weight. Her warmth. Her.

    A hand on his shoulder indicates Thandi’s readiness for him, and he turns. She absolutely gorgeous. He loves how she dresses.

    Thandi settles into his open arms, laying on his chest, and he feels blessed by her. Like his own personal goddess.

    “I love you. I love you. I love you…”

  • Spiked

    Spiked

    charlie canon, tbo canon, charlie backstory, sexual assault, drunk charlie

    His vision blurs and swims, and a face gets close to him. Someone… here to help?

    Someone… someone… anyone will do.

    “Hello… you. You are…” He can barely make them out, and they laugh.

    “I can’t believe you would do this to your own son, baron.”

    “He does it to himself. Go on, introduce him to your son. He’s got to be useful for something.” Charlie can recognize that voice, and anger floods through his mind.

    “You—you can’t do this to me! Not again!” He thrusts a finger out to the figure that must be his father. Before more can be said, he’s tugged and guided away, pushed into the arms of someone who manages to dwarf him. There’s the smell of tobacco and citrus, and Charlie’s thoughts float away.

    A dashing, beautiful man is holding him steady. Charlie’s considerably smaller, teenage frame is completely enveloped and for a moment, Charlie’s heart skips a beat. “You…”

    “I’m Laurence Panee.”

    “…you’re beautiful, Laurence…”

    Somewhere, someone barks a laugh. Charlie is lost in the eyes of this man. They’re so blue. He’s so strong. So warm. So… so… so.

    They begin to talk. Laurence compliments and flatters him and touches him, and somehow it seems so good. It seems meant to be when Charlie brings him to his rooms, when they kiss on the bed, when he feels those strong hands start to massage his body, down… down… down…

    He can’t help a gasp as the hand slips into his trousers, grasping him, massaging him to stiffness. Wait. Wait.

    This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

    This isn’t what he wants!

    Laurence frees him from his pants and Charlie feels breath on him, fear growing quickly. No!

    “Wait… wait… no…”

    “It’s okay, Charles…” A hand strokes him and Charlie breaks.

    “I said no!” He scrambles backwards and slams his bootheel into Laurence’s face, yanking his pants back to proper order. “Get out!”

    Hot tears flow freely and he knows that his father has spiked his drink again, manipulated him, put him into the arms of this… whoever he is!

    There’s shouting. Laurence leaves. Byron has Charlie removed from his rooms. Nineteen. Stumbling drunk. Someone—he fights them, but something about his voice soothes—guides Charlie into the servant’s quarters. A blanket is thrown round his shoulders and Charlie cries into a burlap sack of potatoes. That soothing voice hums him a song, the one his mother always sang.

    Morning is greeted by an empty room and the smell of dirt, oddly calming.

    That bastard did it again. No more.

  • Lullaby

    Lullaby

    songfic (Wanderer’s Lullaby by Adriana Figueroa), fluff, sleep

    play above for optimum listening pleasure

    Instances like this are few and far between. Charlie saves it for those truly difficult nights, and he always starts so quiet. A low hum, surprising in musicality, that follows a melody that Thandi has grown familiar with over the years.

    It seems to guide her into sleep, and she nearly never hears the words. Between the calming song and his hand stroking her, it always seems like a dream. He’s never admitted to it, and it’s difficult to prompt him to do it. No, it’s something really special.

    Tonight, she’s recovering from an echo of her nightmares, and so she remains awake long enough to hear him sing to her. The humming blends into words, so quiet that the crickets nearly drown him out.

    “You are right where you need to be…  poised to inspire and to succeed…”

    It’s like a blanket that soothes her. He sounds so sweet.“Soon…  you’ll finally find your own way…”

    Lyrics:

    Wandering child of the earth
    Do you know just how much you’re worth?
    You have walked this path since your birth
    You were destined for more

    There are those who’ll tell you you’re wrong
    They will try to to silence your song
    But right here is where you belong
    So don’t search anymore

    You are the dawn of a new day that’s waking
    A masterpiece still in the making
    The blue in an ocean of grey
    You are right where you need to be
    Poised to inspire and to succeed
    You’ll look back and you’ll realize one day

    In your eyes there is doubt
    As you try to figure it out
    But that’s not what life is about
    So have faith there’s a way

    Though the world may try to define you
    It can’t take the light that’s inside you
    So don’t you dare try to hide
    Let your fears fade away

    You are the dawn of a new day that’s waking
    A masterpiece still in the making
    The blue in an ocean of grey
    You are right where you need to be
    Poised to inspire and to succeed
    You’ll look back and you’ll realize one day

    You are the dawn of a new day that’s waking
    A masterpiece still in the making
    The blue in an ocean of grey
    You are right where you need to be
    Poised to inspire and to succeed
    Soon you’ll finally find your own way

  • Good Things…

    Good Things…

    sad, pining, TBO canon adjacent

    There will always be a distance between them that he can’t close.

    There will always be the knowledge that this is a diversion and nothing more.

    There will always be that quiet, unsettling feeling that seems to flicker in his breast, the one that tells him that he’s making the worst decision of his life.

    Charlie knows better than most: good things don’t last forever.

    The bracelet on her wrist squeezes, and he feels her fingers brush over him. Usually, this brings comfort, but today it brings a new anxiety. When this is over, will she bring that piece of him with her back to Faerun?

    Will he have nights like this, staring into the dark, feeling the ghost of her from a dimension away?

    There, the feeling grows claws, piercing his heart. Charlie presses his palms to his face, taking a shaky breath, feeling Thandi’s pulse rise. She must have woken.

    A faint voice tickles him. Oh, darling… Fingers stroke and pet with a purpose now. Tears drip from his face as she strokes the bracelet into relaxing around her wrist, and then the feeling of her lips…  though the sharp pain lances through him, leaving a weight that settles into his bones, he also feels… buoyed. He closes his eyes and loses himself to the feeling of her comforting him. If only he could do the same for her.

    At least while she is with him, he’ll do anything it takes for her to feel as good as she makes him feel.

    The bracelet wraps around her wrist a few extra times, stroking her wrist with a loving tendril. Thank you. I’m okay. I love you.